What can separate me now?

I was just thinking about how broken hearted God must be each time we turn from him. If he is love, if he gives perfect love, and we deny that, how much would that hurt? Pouring everything you are into someone, and having them look away from you...it sucks to even think about. Of course, this is from a human standpoint. I'm clueless as to God's nature. I guess we all are.

We should all be able to relate to this idea. If you've ever been rejected by someone you really loved or cared for, then it must be at least a fraction of what we do to him when we forget him.

Now I'm thinking about how this relates to me. How no matter how many times I've been screwed over, I've kept going, with this insane mixture of emotions/feelings/weirdness all at once. Love. Hate. Even fear, for some weird, all too human reason. Can you imagine, as we are, trying to handle the world? I can barely even deal with my own life. I don't even want to begin to think about the problems of billions of individual beings with specific needs and personalities. Especially when you realize that the problems of each person bleed into at least a few others.

So I guess denying God is pretty rude. lol.

I've been getting pretty excited about Creation. Especially 'cause Skillet's going to be there, and I definitely love me some Skillet. xD

Speaking of Skillet, I've been listening to Collide a lot lately. There's some lyrics that really hit me as I heard them. Especially from "Savior", "Under My Skin", and "A Little More".

Everything's gonna crash and break,
Gonna be your savior.

It sounds totally simple, but that's how simple it really is. Everything falls apart, and there's one fix. We spend too much time complicating stuff. It's true that there's only one constant in our lives, and that's God.

The sweet serenity,
I'm beautifully addicted.
You are more than I can take,
I crave you undiluted.

"I crave you undiluted." I keep repeating this in my head. It means so much. It explains one of my relationships so well. I know, I know, I should be relating this to God...but I need from my friend what I fell in love with. I crave what he was when he wasn't so conflicted within himself. There's always a reason why you like someone, you know. There's always at least one thing about someone.

When I hurt, when I bleed,
You're holding me,
Feel you scratching at the surface,
Under my skin.

Could I be lost, could I disappear?
Could I be lost, would you find me here?
Could I be lost in a secret place?
Could I rest in the shadow of your face?
Sweet serenity, beautifully a part of me.

I am lost; come find me.

Oh, let the world crash, love can take it,
Oh, let the world come crashing down.
Oh, let the world crash, love can take it.
Love can take a little, love can give a little more.

How optimistic. How idealistic. How beautiful. How true. :)

While I'm talking about love...

I always felt like I could reach that love, you know? That idea of perfection in love. There's been so many times when I've sacrificed, when I've gone without, when I've shown love where others would have given up. I always thought that made me a good person.

I'm starting to find out how much I can take.