Fear.

I think that fear is usually doubt in God. I guess that's what I'm learning. Everything in my life is beginning to revolve around whether or not I'm fully trusting God. No matter how hard I try, I don't feel like I can.

My anxiety is spiking. I guess it's the combination of all the spiritual problems, the self-consciousness, and college approaching. Lately, my body has been the source of a lot of anxiety. No clue why. I still don't have everything done for school in the fall. I won't have everything done until a week before class starts. I don't know where any of the money for books is going to come from.

I still feel like I'm doing the wrong thing. I don't feel like I'm meant to follow law. I don't know what's pulling me, or what direction I'm supposed to head in. I really need to get back into the Bible. Being human and easily distracted really, really sucks.

I've been wondering lately why we keep going back to things that have hurt us the most.